Holly cow!

YAY!

we are all going to rock n roll this labor day weekend.

fengyi is flying down from phoenix to spend the weekend with me.

saturday, we're just going chill out at my place and THEN..

off to SAN DIEGO to meet up with pat & fanny and pete later.

what to do there????

EAT EAT EAT, the BEACH AND WILD ANIMAL KINGDOM PARK (AKA SAFARI).

after the beach, we are all going have a feast at the brazilian restaurant with MEAT and more MEAT.

holly cow, that all sound so cool!

holly cow, that's a good way to de-shock my mind/soul and body.

HOLLY COW! this is gonna be a frickin fun weekend.

Who I am; Who I am not; I am WHO?

i have disappointed alot of people in the office, especially the MEN.

you see, when i first came in, most people think that since i'm ASIAN and + i'm small and tiny, i will be very soft-spoken and agree with whatever the MEN said.

ALAMAK. they are so WRONG!

i can't help it! you know.... guys are guys, sometimes i just need to shot them off to shut them down. not that i want to. THEY ASKED FOR IT!

i have this amazing natural talent -- that i can be sarcastic and funny @ the same time. heng ah.. at least the funny part save my ass quite alot of time.

i have amazed some and disappointed many.

Herbert has been telling me this for quite some time --- "Carol, i thought you are this sweet person but i'm so wrong.....".

Peter often tell me ---"i can't believe it. you are this tiny person but you eat and drink like crazy".

when mike kept on pushing me to pick up the damn phone, i got so pissed that i decided to go speak to my boss and my boss's boss about this matter. i guess he nearly flipped off his chair when he knew that i did that.

alamak, now is don't know what century already... you think girls still yes sir, no sir meh.

girls are quite good at kicking ass nowadays.

working with 9 men is not easy. is hell lots of fun but sometimes when they start being guys, i need to CHU my power already.

My saturday

lovely.

spent the whole day sleeping. is a luxury you know.

woke up @ 8:30am, did whatever i had to do, had lunch and then went back to sleep again.

woke up @ 4 cause is TOO HOT.

thank God i didn't make a trip down to monterey park for the southern california malaysians gathering. the weather is crazy.

off to the gym now.

Kick start to the weekend

because of this whole transition thing from Blogger to Google, i can't upload any pictures due to the incompatibility.

this is driving me insane. so for you guys, no pictures till this whole crap is fixed.

WORDS UPDATE:

yesterday @ young's house was a blast. he was way way way too generous. the food were insane. we had home-made sushi, mini hot dogs, spring roll, olives, crackers & cheese etc etc and then kabobs, burgers and hot-dogs. no sight of the ribs; don't know why..

and free flow of beer, wine and cognac.

still got parting gifts too. we all took home a bottle of wine and hand-made jewellery from his wife.

everything was great!

great food under the patio in 80+ fahrenheit (~ 20+ celsius) with candles and great companionship.

and then earlier on in the day, herbert brought in some krispy kreme donuts for breakfast, followed by pizzas and chicken wings for lunch.

INSANE.

Just a conversation

oh yah. forgot to blog about this.

yesterday, young (he's one of the senior business manager) came out of the office and asked me ---

YOUNG: ay carol, are you interested to become a business manger?

ME: NOOOOOO

YOUNG: SERIOUS? why don't you give it some thought?

ME: NOOOOO... there are alot of uncertainties now but this is one thing that i'm pretty darn certain

then he gave me a pretty pissed look.

ME: you know what i want to be?

YOUNG: what?

ME: HOUSEWIFE

ME: i'm serious. i'm not into the whole corporate/status thingy.

the guys stopped their work and turned to look at me.

okay.. on a more serious note

i think the reason why most of them were shocked was because they never thought i want to be that. when it comes to work, they know that i'm somewhat a perfectionist and sometime i push myself so hard that my boss asked me to relax and chill out.

the reason why is because i really want to do my very best in whatever that is given to me.

the corporate world is crazy. i prefer a much more simpler life. i want quality not quantity.

Weekend

ah.. what a day

finally got a chance to sit down and have myself a glass of wine. heven been drinking often these days cause of the disgustingly hot weather.

i have been busy running around after work today; to go get myself some banana bread for breakfast and then to the grocery store to get some ingredients for some cookies baking.

you see, craig decided to treat everyone in the office for some pizza lunch tomorrow with some of his coupons from the supplier. i decided to do abit too by baking some cookies for everyone.

i guess we all deserve the treat. the past few days had been a rollar coaster ride for everyone. it was very nice of craig to initiate the lunch thingy.

and then, at night, we are all going to young's house to have some korean style BBQ -- all at his own expense. that was planned a while ago. i'm really looking forward to it. to have some beer and MAMA KIM's ribs - named after young's mum.

the team has been very united since the news broke.

it is pretty amazing.

The reason

my big boss left.

the news came just 20 minutes before we were supposed to knock off.

my big boss's 2 bosses flew all the way down from the east coast to tell us the news.

it came so sudden that we were all shocked beyond shocked.

earlier in the day, a group of us were just having lunch with him and he was sitting right beside me.

everything was very normal. nobody suspected anything. i mean NOBODY. alot of time, when things were supposed to happen, some will feel it coming but this time, NO ONE saw it coming.

how can he leave when he's at his peak?

the business is doing so well. the sales for this account has been outstanding since he came in. before that, it was pretty much a piece of junk.

you know what's so sad? some people just think that he's all about making the $$$$ and a very emotionless person. well, at times, i do agree that he drives people nuts but he has helped this account in many other ways, that alot of people don't see.

without him, alot of people won't be sitting at where they are now. it is very hard to be the boss and at the same time, a people person.

he just left. i didn't even get a chance to say good-bye to him.

though i have only been working for him for only 6 months, he trusted me alot and i know that he has very high hopes for me.

because of him, i'm able to exceed beyond what i think i can do.

is sad; is sad that he is no longer boss.

whatever the reason may be for him leaving, to me, he has been a boss that i have tremendous respect for.

if given a chance for me to work for him again, i will.

pardon my language.

yesterday was just overwhelming.

i know i shouldn't have cursed and swear on a public domain and + i'm a believer.

but then, i decided to just let out whatever i felt like saying. this is my blog and i want to document my life.

also, i'm just a human being. i'm not perfect. cursings and swearings are some of the things that i need to work on.

since knowing the Lord, i have drastically cut down on my swearings. i used to somehow be able to get the F word into every single sentence i say.

and now, i do try my very best to watch my mouth, unless i get pissed off big time.

Fuck

that's a fucker who parked his/her car at MY car port. that fucking idiot son of a bitch. that bastard, if he /she doesn't get his car removed by tomorrow, i'm calling the towing company.

i'm in a fucking bad and depressing mood right now.

i just got a fucking shocking news today at work.

fuck. that sums it all.

well, at least i still have the mood to blog about it.

ENJOY THE JOURNEY; ENJOY THE MOMENT

There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.

~~~

my grandma was hospitalised a few days ago cause of depression.

yah.. it runs in my family.

in the past, i was near that too and thank God i met christ. that really helps alot.

in life, i realised that the more you have, comes more worries.

the more clothes you have, the more time you will need to spend thinking what to wear.

the more make-up you have, the longer you will take to get ready.

when you have a car, you will need more money to upkeep it.

the bigger your apartment is, the more time you will need to clean it up.

i know is impossible for anyone to not have any worries; but i have come to a point a life whereby "what the heck, if is gonna to happen, then is going to happen --> is fated!".

for me now, the Lord is in control of my life.

Let me share with you all what helps me got thru some depressing moments in my life.

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about our body, what you will wear.

Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?

Look at the birds of the air they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

Mathew 6:25-27

SO............

ENJOY THE JOURNEY; ENJOY THE MOMENT.

How smart ah!

i got this from mr miyagi's blog.

one of his uni mate commented on this ---> Upstairs Bank of Singapore (UBS); Downstairs Bank of Singapore (DBS).

it was pretty darn damn funny.

FAREAST FLORA THUMBS UP!

Hoo hoo..really pleasant surprise.

it was so good to hear the singaporean accent.

this sat is mark's mum's birthday so we decided to order some flowers for her.

but nabei, the online system was abit screwy and my order couldn't go thru.

not giving up, i decided to call country code 65 --> straight to the flower shop.

as the phone was ringing, i expected a grumpy lady or the typical "bo chap" person trying to get my order through.

BUT!

I WAS WRONG.

wau lau.. the lady was so damn nice and it was so good to hear the singaporean accent. of course, i get to hear the typical accent from mark everyday but this time, is DIFFERENT. i just felt different.

the lady was very apologetic and did her best to get my order through.

THUMBS UP!

if customer service in singapore goes up;

the number of CHI-NA/STINGY/MICRO MANAGE bosses go down;

i will come back home IMMEDIATELY!

YAY!

YAY!

finally, i can do God's work.

i was presented opportunties to help look after the kids earlier on but i realised that God didn't give me the gift to be with children.

i didn't want to continue doing something that was not from my heart so i stopped doing that.

been Looo Bo.. for a while.

till last weekend, people from the INTERNATIONAL STUDENT FELLOWSHIP needed help.

WAU DUDE! that sounds familiar. that was where i got to know Christ.

my church decided to team up with some universities here to offer international students' help. for instance, to pick them up, invite them over for a meal and help them with the transition to the states.

i've been praying for so long, asking the Lord to make me useful in his eyes.

i realised that with all the clothes, good food, drinking and money. my life is still empty.

i'm not a big fan of status, getting rich and climbing up the ladder leh. i'm a perfectionist @ work beause i want to bring glory to the Lord; not because i want to get promoted. i have been asked if i'm interested in becoming a business manager down the road and i said NO.

i'm not scared of blasting people off if i feel that something is not right, instead of LICKING THEIR ASS cause i don't give a damn.

there are quite a few accidents whereby i could play the game but i chose to be righteous and not to. in the end, they got punished and slammed too. haha.

God is in control. he sees everything and he will punish the evil. me... no worries!

i would be really happy if the whole international student fellowship works out.

YAY!

Passing comment

i was just reading about my love style below.

pretty true. it does not only apply to my family and mark but my friends as well.

however, the sad thing is that when it comes to friends, i will only sacrifice or do a shit lot only if you belong to my inner circle.

i know this is not good :(

because God wants us to treat and love our neighbour just as we love ourselves :(

will try working on that..

oh yah, by the way, i think that style applies to my mum as well.

she can clean the house a hell lot (like every single second), do anything for me and my bro and i never see her complain.

if i need her to help me do something, the answer will never be no.

SERIOUSLY, LIKE ANYTHING.

Just for fun

Your Love Style is Agape

You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner. Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare. You are willing to sacrfice your world for your sweetie. Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you. For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love.

What's Your Love Style?

San Gabriel!!

today, i went on a mini adventure --- I WANT TO BE WITH MY COMMUNITY OF PEOPLE.

the term my community of people means:

SKIN COLOR=YELLOW
LANGUAGE SPOKEN=CHINESE, CANTONESE OR HOKKIEN

i went to san gabriel to get my hair cut

at the same time, to get my dose of CHINESE FOOD.

i was so happy when i reached the place. it was so GOOD to see all chinese around.

however, a fear then overcame me --- SHIT, i'm not really sure how to communicate with them.

my cantonese and chinese SUCK!

when the stylist was cutting my hair (he's from hongkong), i didn't talk much to him cause i didn't know HOW to say WHAT i wanted to say and i didn't want to embarrass myself, also, speaking in english sound abit weird. SO I DECIDED TO KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT.

i went into the resturant, wanting to order some roast duck, soya sauce chicken and chau siew. MY HEART WAS PUMPING.. cause i looked at the menu and i didn't know how to say that in chinese.

so... i took the menu and pointed to the uncle --- UNCLE, GEI WO ZHE GE.. NUMBER 11.

eh.. but soon i realised I'M NOT ALONE. haha

when i was having lunch at this taiwanese cafe, a lady walked in.

she told the boss.. gei wo dong gu(mushroom) beef noodle. [i'm like what the shit is that --it sounded weird with chinese and english mixed together]

then..... she wanted more but she got a hard time trying to figure what each item on the menu is and also communicating what she wanted to the lady boss so.. in the end, she passed her cell phone to the lady boss and told the boss to speak with her mum --- wau lau; that was damn classic.

while waiting for her food, she was asking the lady boss.. lau ban (boss).. zhe ge number 2 chinese how to say?

i was trying not to laugh at her... not bad.. can get free chinese lesson.


mark and clifton are not here so i don't have my regular intake of roast chicken and chau siew :(

what shall i do?

GO BUY MYSELF LA. i'm good for a while after these.

i know this looks disgusting but is one of my favourite food -- mei cai ku ruo; typical taiwanese/hokkien food.

for the past few years, i really have started liking hokkien dishes. i LOVE kung pa bao and mei cai ku ruo and also the slurpy black hokkien noodle. love it love it LOVE IT! 

qie zie mian - taiwan xiao chi. i went there with my aunt and her family before. it was good so today, i went back back there again for lunch. 

this is coconut and taro custard. my initial plan was to bring home and enjoy but i cannot take it anymore. i had it in the car. YUM! 

my bag of treasures. my favourite tau sa bread. i have been waiting for this for the whole week.
AH........ 

My weekend conversation

i just got off the phone with my mum.

that's something which we spoke that i find pretty hilarious. haha.

i told her eh.. thinking of going for blood test, to check my health.

MUM: yah! better go. health is very important.
you remember last time, you always complained about having migraine.

ME: yah hor.. but now i don't have already.
i think because i never hear all the naggings from you and papa, that's why i never have migraine for the past few years -- only me and my freedom. HAHA

the last place i want to be now is the airport.

Just thinking

life.. life.. life is hilarious.

a part of me wants to GO HOME.

a part of me craves to stay in the states.

work and quality of life are great here but i crave for my friends and family.

the thought of going back to work for those chi-NA bosses just fricks me out..

Lord. show me the way.

:)

My day

it has been a rather amazing day today.

the upper management knows that i have been a pretty unhappy gal for the past few weeks.

i had a heart to heart talk with my direct boss last week. Al (aka direct boss) has always been a very open manager and would always try to resolve any issues and concerns that i have.

Situation:

Al brought up my concerns during the senior business mgrs' meeting today {i guess it was a big enough issue to be brought up}.

half an hour before i left for the day, i was called into the room of my director (aka Big Boss).

oh boy. it was great. we talked; and i really mean TALK.

it was great knowing that other than being concerned over those dollars and cents, this guy really appreciates open communication.

Just a thought.

life has been kind of crazy for the past few weeks.

it flew past. really flew past. ask me what i have accomplished @ work? the answer is i don't know.

i'm looking forward to the end of the year --> to going back to a very familar surrounding.

a surrounding whereby i don't have to depend on a thing called car; a surrounding whereby i don't have to worry about what to eat; don't have to worry about whether i have double locked my door; to worry if i have paid the bills ---> to a place filled with love and concerns.

i know that every morning when i wake up, there will be breakfast on the table. if i want lunch or dinner, food will magically appear on the table.

i know that there will be tonnes of people that i can be around and trusted with.

companions to go shopping, drinking and coffee with.

wonder how i would feel the moment the plane lands?

going home has never been sweeter.

My weekend dinner

Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside ~ Mark Twain.

totally agree with the above quote. i have a very sensitive stomach. i can't eat food which is too oily and spicy but ah... I DON'T CARE. i love eating laksa but everytime i eat that, within minutes, i need to fly off to the bathroom.

my philosophy when it comes to food is --> as long as it tastes good; EAT FIRST, WORRY LATER.


i'm not a big fan of pizza at all before i came to the states but in recent years, i have "acquired" quite a big taste for it. nothing beats pizza and beer and it would be great if i have mark to hang out with.

i decided to treat myself to some comfort food today.

what a great way to spend the weekend. sleep, eat, sleep, eat.

Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first ~ Ernestine Ulmer


to top it off, i had the chocoate garnache cake from trader joe's. absolutely delicious!

though i'm alone, i won't let loneliness control me. i will spice up my life myself :)
 

Conversation in the car

i'm bashed.

woke up @ 5 in the morning to send pete to the aiport -- that boy is going back to greece for a 2 weeks vacation.

normally when i have to wake up that early, i will not be in a very pleasant mood. however, during that half an hour car ride to the airport, we were chatting more than we expected. we talked and talked and talked... about work and the funny thing is that ---- the topics only revolved around ONE particular person.

i came back and can't stop wondering..how can we humans keep our topics solely on this one person for months... for years; and we never got tired discussing about them? that is pretty interesting

back in tucson, is also the exact same situtation.

that person, their thinkings and the ways they do things must be really really out of this world. that is the only conclusion i can make.

so anyway, pete was pretty frustrated with whatever he was doing and seriously needed a vacation.

he made a comment just now ---> carol, i like you.

OKAY STOP. DON'T THINK OTHERWISE. THERE IS NOTHING GOING ON BET US.
MARK IS STILL THE ONE IN MY LIFE.

pete is a person who take things way way too seriously. when things aren't going right, it affects him alot.

for me, i have already mastered the art of zooming out stuff when i get out of the office and life's short, i don't want to let things upset me and worry for things 24/7... but too bad, that boy can't do it.
life's not only short, is seriously unpredictable. i used to also take alot of things seriously but after the death of my grandpa, i have learned to let go.

and also God is in control, no matter what, i will be fine.

so he told me ---- i like you. i like how you can be cheerful and optimistic most of the time.

well, between being (angry, upset, worrisome) and (optimistic, happy, live for the moment), i chose the latter.

Give me my FIBER. the more the merrier

never would i thought that i will get constipation BECAUSE everyone who knows me well know that i'm the toilet queen.

i haven't been having regular meals cause 1) i have been pretty busy and 2) sometimes, i eat too much during lunch that i don't have appetite for dinner after that.

CONSTIPATION SUCKS.

so from now on, regardless of how busy i am, i will remember to have my regular intake of vegetables, fruits, wheat bread and banana bread.

HEALTH IS IMPORTANT. if you don't take care of it, who will? Don't wait till old then regret ah.